Commitment

After reading parts of the Essential Vegetarian Cookbook, I'm starting to feel what it must be like for a groom watching his once laid-back girlfriend plan the "perfect, and I mean PERFECT!" wedding: still totally in-love but questioning many, many things. Why did I think that I could do this? Can I really make this work? And, why, oh why, did I think that this might be easy?

But, alas, weddings are ceremonial; usually much more than popping a ring on someones finger and declaring eternal love. Committing a year to Diana Shaw will be much more than opening the book at random and cooking a delicious dinner in moments. All of her recipes are from scratch, and when I read Diana's loving words as to why this must be so, just like a budgeting husband-to-be begins to consider silver napkin holders versus platinum, I realize why the small details are important to the person I've committed to, especially when the little things are going into my food, and therefore, my body.

As I begin to look for a full-time teaching job, as a mother of two, I am already feeling overwhelmed and anxious about the year 2010. So many things are about to change, and I desperately need one of those things to be my body. However, I am proud to say, that I don't mean the outside appearance, but rather my insides. Maybe, as I grow to eat healthier and take care of myself, what people see will reflect that inside transformation, but as long as I'm healthy and well-tuned, I don't need to trade my curves for a size 2.

Another blessing about this soon-to-be union is that Diana has graciously included strategies so that busy housewives and working mothers can plan ahead so that the moment before the meal is so well choreographed that it does not have to be stressful at all. She promotes cooking on the weekends and freezing your portions ahead of time. Each recipe comes with a serving size, nutrition facts, and stories and tips from Diana's experience with every dish. I may be feeling overwhelmed at the moment, but I'm definitely looking forward to this culinary adventure.

The Fashion Insiders' Diet

Allure Magazine published an article called the Fashion Insiders' Diet in their August 2009 issue. The article revealed how the pretty people do it, how they stay sample sizes while running around in the fashion frenzy of the "it" world. The methods to the madness are all very simple and common sense, but there are some tricks to the trade that I found to be very helpful and creative especially during this time of holiday get-togethers and stress.

The holidays are a time when not only size two fashion buyers are scrambling to find the perfect pair of Manolo's best and running in and out of department stores with a million lists and strict deadlines and food court aromatics teasing the senses into thoughts of refueling with something quick, easy, and greasy. So, here they are, bits of advice from the goddesses of the fashion industry on how to stay slender during times of stress, travel, and parties.

1) Have a routine menu for breakfast and lunch. Fashion insiders very rarely diverged from their daily menu of scrambled egg whites and fruit for breakfast and bright, vibrant, and colorful salads for lunch. The strategy here is the less you think about it, the smaller the chance of choosing anything unhealthy. The more simple the choices, the less risk for reaching for that office doughnut and frozen latte with all the fixings. So, my take on this advice is, have four staple choices within my calorie range for breakfast and lunch. Keep it simple.

2) The routine for breakfast and lunch provides more "wiggle room" for dinner, and when dining out, these insiders eat rich, but very small portions, and they never go to a party or restaurant hungry so to avoid the temptation of being a member of the "Clean Plate Club." One piece of etiquette I always used to follow was to mentally divide your plate into fourths. Eat the first section slowly, while making conversation and drinking plenty of water between bites, and if you're still hungry move on to the second section, but never eat more than half your portion. Another piece of advice that wasn't in the article was to avoid asking for a "doggy" bag unless you have someone at home other than your self to feed. Leave the decadence at the restaurant.

3) When at a party, keep your hands full. Put a clutch in one hand and a drink in the other. Alternate from a glass of wine to a glass of water so you keep your liquid calories under control, and learn how to refuse food politely.

4) When traveling by plane, train, or automobile, take your own healthy food to snack on so that you are not left feeling famished with expensive calorie ridden air food, trolley pastries, and drive-thrus as your only options for nourishment.

5) Now this tip surprised me the most. I always thought that people fainting at work due to starvation as a stereotypical norm in the fashion industry, but those who were interviewed for the article said that snacking throughout the day helped them avoid overindulgence later. Now, of course they don't mean raiding the vending machines for snacks; instead, they have nuts, dried fruit, and quartered granola bars to get them through the mid-morning and mid-afternoon slumps.

6) Daily exercise. Simple right? And, if these women who work 12 hours a day can find time, what's my excuse?

7) Occasional treats. Rich and satisfying treats that don't cause the cravings that the diet fat-free substitutes can bring on. Now that I think about it, it's so much easier to take just one bite of Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory and retire my fork for the night than it is to open just one 100-calorie pack of chocolate covered pretzels and refuse to open the remaining six packets left in the box.

I'm going to test a couple of these tips out and let you know how it goes. I think that the daily exercise (obviously) and the simple/routine breakfast and lunch options would be the most beneficial for me to try. Here goes!

Walk Off 10 Pounds This Month: Your Lose-10-Pounds Plan

Walk Off 10 Pounds This Month: Your Lose-10-Pounds Plan

My new challenge. Since it doesn't come with a diet plan, this challenge will fit perfectly with my Essential Vegetarian Guide beginner recipes that I'm prepping in order to get me ready for my Feb. 15th deadline. My start date for the Walk Off Challenge is December 30th since that's pay day and grocery shopping/produce junction day.

Already, I'm feeling somewhat convicted about shopping at produce junction vs. shopping local organic. I'll have to price what I pay now at produce junction to what I'd pay at the local farmers' market and make a comparison. Unfortunately for us, money, not environment, is the deciding factor. I would love to grow my own, but our association in our townhouse community forbids it. Ah, to break free.

Back to the beginning

It took 3 months to take off ten pounds and three months to pack them back on. I am seriously upset with myself. Which is a dangerous place to be considering all the holiday junk food lurking in the kitchen cabinets. I promised myself that I would never come back to this place. Why is it that I don't keep the promises that I make to myself, but every promise I make to others I view as unbreakable and sacred? I can't dwell on this. It won't get me anywhere but somewhere I don't want to be. I'm letting it go. New start.

Food

Okay. Here's "the thing." The thing is that I don't want this blog to be all about how I am or (more the case these days) am not succeeding in my goals towards weight-loss. I want to have fun and to do that I think I'm going to have to do more than pour my heart out about my long-time struggles in the plus-size world. And what better way to start my journey than to reassess my relationship with food? I love food. I love the smells, the textures, the colors. I love reading recipes. Food can connect generations, it can be a social event, it can communicate across cultural barriers, and it has always been more than just nourishment to the body.

So, after watching the movie Julie & Julia and realizing that I need to reconnect with my love of fruits and vegetables I've come up with a project. I want to cook through the entire Essential Vegetarian Cookbook by Diana Shaw in one year. The book is 600 glorious pages regarding health, nutrition, gardening, living green, and party-hosting. Though I'm not going back to being a strict vegetarian, it will revitalize my mission to treat my body as a temple instead of a fast-food dumping ground.

Since I'm terrible with deadlines and lofty ambitions, I am going to set the date for February 15th to give me ample time to prepare and read up on the recipes I will be attempting. This way I can ease my way into it, instead of barreling ahead full force and burning out after two weeks.

I am going to try to figure out a way to balance this project with my reviews of weight-loss challenges found in popular fashion magazines. Maybe I'll alternate months of cooking through Shaw's Essential Guide and the magazines. Not sure, but I'll try to figure it out along the way.

"Do you know that you have a big butt?"

Ah, the voice of truth that comes out of the mouths of babes. A four year old infomericalist in training asked me if I knew that my butt was big and then continued to point out all of my physical flaws after I attempted to share with her the Good News of Jesus Christ in Sunday school this morning. She then proceed to tell me all about this amazing strawberry cereal diet, she has already lost an amazing 4 pounds, and in my opinion, if she lost anymore she'd be as thick as vapor.

After a day of contemplation, two glasses of white wine, and a whole lot of belting Whitney Houston's "I'm Every Woman," I came to a realization and ordered pizza. The latter was due to depression disguised as acceptance and could-care-less-ness, and the former was a statement: "hell, yes, little girl who will remain in my head as the voice of reason, my ass is fat." Unfortunately for me, my addictions and gluttonous sin are as obvious as my waistline. If only I were skinny and addicted to exercise, raw food, and love-making the world would be a better place.

Another realization I came to this morning was that everyone in life will make their parents a scapegoat to blame for their flaws, even the non-genetic emotional dispositions to need explanation because the fact that we are human is never a good enough reason for anything. That little girl may grow up blaming her parents for her future failed attempts at replacing Susanne Somers on QVC. I blame my parents for my emotional eating. Which is total crap.

It's not their fault. They gave me ice cream when I was eight years old after a bad day. So what. They don't do that now. I do. It's all me. It's my decision.

I'm so exhausted from making empty promises (another thing that's not their fault, despite their 'you can do anything you put your mind to' lectures and promises of bright futures ahead). I'm tired of cheap optimism and sick of looking forward to the day I find redemption and break free from the body in which I have chosen to hide while I sit on the couch and dream some more. I think I am going to take it slow this time. No lofty promises, but no more quitting either. I deserve to give myself a chance. I know at least that much.

I keep having this same realization over and over again in my blog, and I'm sure if anyone actually reads this, you, my poor readers are sick of it to...

Okay, okay: Take it slow Katy. Goal for the week: sign up for one weekly fitness class at the Y and go for an entire session. No wimping out. No "Biting off more than I can chew" (especially in the dairy and baked good department. ha ha.) I can do that. Simple. Get some guts to get rid of the gut. Dammit. Why does this scare the hell out of me?

Week One

So, this week I decided to start my weight loss challenge with a week of not being active and eating whatever I felt like eating. You're probably scratching your head as you read this, but I wanted to see how my body would react to a week of nothing. It was miserable. My body craved activity. I had terrible headaches and mood swings, and some of the food I ate made me nauseous. I was going to do this for a full month, but it's too much, and I'm already seeing some setbacks from the progress I've made. So one week is enough.

This month, I will be following a strict diet plan as outlined by the Biggest Loser 7 Day Jump Start Plan published in Prevention Magazine, but not working out, to see how much weight I lose by just eating right alone. We'll see. Wish me luck!

Epiphany

So, this morning during a casual conversation about my extremely organized sister-in-law, we settled on the topic of making plans and how much I admired my sister-in-law's ability to make her plans become realities. I mentioned that Matt hates hearing my plans, and then he mentioned the difference between her and I: she does what she plans to do. When my mother-in-law silently agreed, I realized that I have indeed gone from the organized, 30 year planner type, and my flaky, unreliable characteristics that were once charming and humorously expected have become a tragic flaw.

At first, I told myself that I was just surrendering my life to God. That my 30 year plan was evidence of my mistrust in His ability to guide my life into His Plan. Now, however, I have discovered that I let go of the steering wheel completely in a way that would suggest drunk driving rather than Carrie Underwood's submission in "Jesus, take the wheel." I went from one extreme to the other: overly organized and ambitious to idle and slothful.

It's difficult for me to say that starting from this point on I will do as I plan and go back to my organized and active lifestyle in a way that is glorifying to God, because now that I've come to this resolution I am fearful of making promises that I doubt I can keep. I have to remind myself that all things are possible through Christ, and submit these feelings and goals to Him.

I'm constantly reminded of the parable of the servant burying his talent due to fear and disguising his mistrust as a cautious and intelligent financial move. His master berates him, asking why he didn't try to invest his talent. Though this parable is often related to evangelizing, I tend to take it more literally. Why haven't I invested in the gifts God has give me in order to accrue the characteristics of the woman God planned for me to become?

This epiphany has much to do with my weight gain and the goals I set for myself. If my readers look at what I hope to accomplish someday after I reach my magic weight loss number, most will laugh and roll their eyes, and say "Oh, Katy, she loves to reach for the stars though her feet are pitted in the ground." I don't want to be seen that way anymore. It's been too long since I've actually accomplished something I've set out to do. If God can move mountains, I have to believe that He can move me from the idle life to the Ideal life.

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Not So Nice...

When Fall rolls around and the leaves start turning vibrant oranges, reds, yellows, and browns; when the smell in the air is of kindling crackling and warm while the wind is cool and gentle, I start to crave. I crave casseroles and anything advertised as "pumpkin-spice", pie, muffins, and lattes that heat the insides of my stomach like a spicy winter coat.

As I glance at the drive-thru Dunkin' Doughnuts with ninety-nine cents burning a hole through my pocket and the option of savoring a small latte while the kids are asleep in the back seat, I blame the primal instincts to fatten up before winter and the bogus "I-deserve-it" mentality. Unfortunately for me, I am not a bear, and I don't need a large layer of fat to act as a blanket during hibernation, and come to think of it, bears don't drink lattes. Instead, they fatten up with healthy fats and proteins; not green bean casserole and Reese's peanut butter cups in the shape of friendly pumpkins.

As for the "I-deserve-a-treat" mentality I should respond in kind: "Be gone, Satan!" Seriously, this frame of mind is why I'm so heavy. As a mother of two, I've convinced myself that the only way for me to achieve a moment to myself is through a bite of food or a television program that will help me to escape my life for half an hour. Both of which have resulted in a big flat bottom and a terrible disposition. Even as I'm typing this I've realized that I haven't tuned into MTV.com to watch this week's episode of "Skinny people with tons of money pretending that they have problems" i.e. "The Hills."

In investment terms, my current lifestyle is in the red. Instead of spending the money and time on food and activities that take away from my life, I should be investing it elsewhere. This is the reason I started this blog in the first place, to take me out of these mind-sets and to help me stay accountable to achieving the things I do deserve: life-long happiness with my family and healthy body to help me live long enough to enjoy life to its fullest.

The Weight Loss Challenge

My next resolution is to bump up my number of followers and starting November 1st, I will have a more interactive blog. I will be attempting the weight loss challenges in fitness and fashion magazines and reviewing them for the public. Whether it's lose a dress size in 10 days or lose 10 pounds in 30 days, I'm going to try it out.

My boundaries are as follows:
The challenge must be printed by a fashion or fitness magazine;
The challenge must be in either 10 day or 30 day increments;
The challenge must not include pills or diet drinks;
I will incorporate the challenge with my every day fitness routine so I don't lose momentum;
I will rate each challenge based on the following: affordability, practicality, life after the challenge, and if the goal was met.

If you have any recommendations for published weight loss challenges, please comment below and let me know!

My Birthday Resolution

My 27th year is coming to a close. When I was little I thought twenty-seven was the magical age even though all my other friends couldn't wait to be sixteen. I thought that my twenty-seventh year would be The Year when all my life dreams would be realized and/or coming into fruition. However, this was probably the most sedate year of my life. Yes, I started on the right path, but fears got in my way and I let them get the best of me.

I have maintained the weight I lost this summer, but my training has gone down the tubes and so has my energy level. Tomorrow will be my first day back in the gym to workout since early September. I know, YIKES!

My birthday resolution is this: Before my 27th year is over, I will start training again on a routine basis. That's it. No magic number of pounds to lose or dress size, but a simple goal that I know is attainable.

This year, on October 30th, I will be singing "Happy Birthday" while looking forward to the journey ahead.

Falling Backwards

So ever since my audition for the Biggest Loser, I stopped blogging about my progress. Something about standing in line for four hours with people who had weight problems, many more severe than mine, broke my spirit. Something inside of me started to nag me. Why I should think I'm special enough to achieve my dreams and conquer my goals?

I started to down-spiral into old habits and old thinking patterns. I let emotional eating back into my life and exercise became something I was not motivated to do unless I actually had to go to class. This has been such a constant pattern in my life, that whenever I start something that is good for myself, I wait for the ball to drop, so inevitably, it does.

Despite my subconscious efforts, however, my final weigh-in was a bitter triumph for me. I still won, after losing 10 pounds of body fat and gaining three pounds of lean muscle. It felt like when I would pass a class I knew I should fail, just because I had worked so hard in the beginning of the semester and the straight A's that fell into C's and D's balanced out into a passing grade.

As I write this, I know I'm taking the first step towards breaking this vicious cycle. I still have my dreams of conquering mountains and marathons, and with God's help I could move those mountains if I needed to--I just need to believe. To believe that I am special enough to do these things only got me six weeks of solid effort, but to believe that God designed me in His image has much more lasting power.

I'm writing this to get myself back. Lord, help me.

Hitting the ten pound mark!

I've been trying to lose these ten pounds for 11 months now, and it feels so great! Wynn and I have been working on my audition tape for the past few days. As awesome as this tape is going to be, even if I don't make the casting for Biggest Loser, I will still have two very precious things 1) a video that will be a reminder of a place I never want to go again, and 2) the time I've been able to spend with Wynn. :-)

I am so grateful for all the support and encouragement my friends and family have given me since I started this blog, and I'm really looking forward to what may come and what will come out of this awesome adventure!

Now to schedule my appointment for contacts! I love rewards!!

My Favorite Two Distractions

Harrison and Libby had been so great the first two weeks that I had not foreseen the multitude of ways they distracted me from accomplishing my weekly routine this week. Being that they are of the ages four and nearly one year old, I can not blame them, and I don't, but this was a tough week.

If you look at my workout schedule, you'll see the million and one commitments I've made towards my goal to get healthy. Unfortunately, when I dive into something, everything else goes to the wayside. As soon as I have a goal in sight, my peripheral vision goes dark, and all I see is the one thing that drives me for that particular moment. After two weeks of this undeniable focus, the "trance" broke, and I realized our house was a disaster.

The things that shook my focus were a series of fortunate and unfortunate events. We celebrated Harrison's fourth birthday, and I ate chocolate cake, and it was Good. Then, Libby and Harrison were sick with fevers and stomach bugs, and I stayed home to nurse, spoil, and tender them back to good health. In fact, the only two classes I went to this week were my "Get Fit Club" classes. They kicked, pummeled, pulled, and cracked me into muscular hangovers the following mornings.

Now that Harrison and Lib are doing better, I'm really looking forward to getting back on track. However, the intensity has dulled for my benefit. I'm praying for God to keep me where I need to be and to keep me balanced and aware of not only my journey to better health but my duties as a mother, wife, and homemaker as well.

I have an awesome idea for my audition video for Biggest Loser...

What if I asked everyone I knew and got 1,000 people together to say "We want to watch Katy on the Biggest Loser!" while I ran a lap on a track holding a sign with Biggest Loser in large font? Is that too much? My ultra awesome sister, Wynn, is going to help me with my video, and I think we would be able to pull it off. Having Wynn's help is great due to the fact that video production is major part of what Wynn is studying in school. Plus, it would be awesome to invite her into this part of my life that I've hidden from my family for so long.


It's an audition video, and I am competing against at least 10,000 women just like me. The other thing that I have against me is that they are looking for families. All the people in my family are fit and healthy, so I have to work extra hard to get them to consider me as an independent applicant. It said on the website that independent applicants were also welcome, but I wonder if I could place an ad for an overweight surrogate family member just in case.

My other fear isn't really a fear; nevertheless, what if I lose too much weight while training at home for them to want me? I've already lost 9 pounds in 11 days, and I don't want to stop no matter how much I want to be on the show. I'm ready for change now. As I write this, I'm noticing the time. I'm missing my first class since I've started my routine. We have Harrison's birthday party today, and as much as I want to be with him on his big day, it's amazing how my body is craving action today and how much I miss the smell of chlorine and the feeling of cold water against my skin. Just one day.

Things I want to do after I hit my goal weight

Everyday Things that I want to accomplish now:
1) Feel beautiful
2) Be a positive and healthy role model for my children
3) Stop feeling envious of others' bodies
4) View my body as a Temple
5) Say "goodbye" to emotional eating

Adventures that I want to accomplish after hitting my goal weight:
1) Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa.
2) Run in the Great Wall Marathon in China
3) Swim across the English Channel
4) Learn to hang glide in Australia
5) Get licensed in sky diving
6) Learn how to surf in Hawaii
7) Buy lingerie in Paris
8) Hike the entire Appalachian Trail
9) White Water Raft through the Grand Canyon
10) Participate in a triathlon in Latin America

See, I am done with living as the Big woman with Big Dreams. Now, I am challenging myself to being the Healthy woman Living a Big Life.

Update

Sorry I haven't checked in for a while! Here's a couple things that have changed since my last post:

1) My hydro-aerobics class is a riot! I love the older ladies who gossip and laugh as the instructor shouts out things like "We're Washing Machines now Ladies!" and "Elephant" (an exercise move raising your arms against the resistance of the water like a trunk on an elephant and stomping with your feet spread apart.) and "Don't throw your hip out again, Adele!". Yep, really, it's very entertaining!

2) I started double punishment Monday and Wednesday by running w/Jamie after my Get Fit Club class. It's fun, but boy was I sore the next day.

3) I'm auditioning for the show "Biggest Loser" on the 18th of July. I figure the show would be the best way for me to reach my goals of participating in a triathlon someday. With the show's help that "someday" will come sooner than I could ever hope for! Even though I'm auditioning, I'm not going to stop the training I'm doing now. I realized that even with the training, I'll probably still have a lot to lose when shooting for Season 9 begins, so why not?

Rivals and Friends, Friends and Rivals: New Friends

Jenna huffs and puffs right next to me, we are committed. We lift the bars over our heads, check our stances, and squat, 2, 3, 4. She is my first friend outside of the Get Fit Club. I'm not competing with her, instead I use her example to make sure my stance is correct or if I heard the instructor correctly and I'm really supposed to bend my leg that way. Jenna's a stay-at-home mom too, and I'm grateful to know her because she is my resource to which classes all the Phoenixville moms take, the best times for childcare,which swim classes are the most fun, and I have visions of swapping recipes in the near future.

As we dutifully attempt to reflect the instructor's actions and tune into the directions shouted from the front of the room, my other new friend, Chuck moves around the room. He chats, and tells stories, and motivates people to keep going. He is the social director for our cruise towards healthier living. He's the guy everyone knows, and if you don't know him, you don't go to the gym enough. His mannerisms remind me of my father-in-law, so I am immediately comfortable with joking around with him and the guy working out in front of me. Chuck is going to be one of those people who hold me accountable, someone who'll ask me where I've been if I miss a class, or who will tell me not to get discouraged. I'm thankful to have him on my side!

As I look to the instructor across the room, I make a conscience effort not to look at him as one might look at the man running the torture chamber or the mad-scientist about to dissect the victim's muscles for fun-filled research. He has us do more push-ups. After class, the instructor, Joe comes up to me, and asks me how I liked my first class. I make a joke about it, and he laughs. Chuck and Jenna come up and join the conversation, and once again I feel amazing and energized. I feel confident about this decision to put myself first for the first time in seven years where I am committed to doing something for myself, for my health, for my new life.

Rivals and Friends, Friends and Rivals: My First Rival

So, it's only been 4 days, but I've already sniffed out the competition. There's a girl in my Get Fit Club that lights up every time there's a challenge or a new facet to the competition. So do I. Our trainer told us to log the calories we burn on the cardio machines, and that the person who burns the most calories by the end of the session wins a prize.

Angie chirped up: "I'm here everyday!"

My response: "So am I!"

Our eyes locked briefly. We acknowledged each other like fencers about to duel, like Jackie Chan and the random tough dude, like the fireman assessing the burning house; we silently declared war.

Everything....

...hurts. Man, am I sore. The Get Fit Club class last night was pretty cool. I met some great people and my instructor was so supportive. This morning my head was pounding. I kept waking up at various times during the night because I was so afraid of oversleeping for my class. But, when my alarm went off at 5:00 am, I pressed the snooze button, rested for five minutes, and got up at the second alarm. I nearly fell asleep while I was getting ready, but I prayed a continuous prayer, "Lord, just get me through today." The prayer became more and more urgent as time went by my headache continued to throb. I felt like I was going through a detox of some kind. Like my body was protesting against anything good, right, and healthy, because it was so different from the usual treatment.

When I drove up to the Y, after 32 ounces of water, Tylenol, and a cereal bar, I still felt like crap. "Lord, PLEASE, get me through today... or at least out of this car." Five minutes later I walked into the gym, found my weights, and my mat, and purchased another bottle of water. My instructor from last night, Geri, taught this class as well. She beamed "Hello." My responding expression must have been a cross between a Charlie Brown grimace, a manic smile, and an "how on Earth are you so happy at this time of day?"--because she chuckled when she showed me where to put my mat.

The next hour felt like the longest hour of my life. This feeling of inadequacy, when I am so naturally competitive, is the reason I've stayed away from classes and activities like these for so long. But now the competition is with myself. I can do this. I won't give up. I will fight. For the Right. To Party.

The End of Mardi Gras

Papa slings some grits and eggs onto the plate. He butters six slices of toast and picks up some bacon from the dish lined with paper towels damp from grease. This is my breakfast, and has been my breakfast for the past three days (since I didn't tell Papa that I haven't eaten pork for nearly a year, I sneak my bacon onto Matt and Harrison's plates when he's not looking). I'm not complaining. Food is how I "treat" myself, how I reward myself, and how I punish myself. I tell myself that I am on vacation. I tell myself that this is my "Mardi Gras." One week of caloric debauchery before my ten week weight-loss competition begins.

After my vacation with 11 family members in Garden City, a week of lazing on the beach, swimming in the pool, and eating culinary wonders with simple names (i.e. grits, pimento cheese and tomato sandwiches, shrimp po boys, oyster stew, cheese toast), I am venturing into a world where such foods are muttered like swears under the breath instead of revered as delights for the palette.

After my breakfast on Thursday morning, I decided to check my voice-mail messages. It had been days since I had even thought about the Northern World I'd left a few days ago, and suddenly a chipper voice broke into my reverie. "Hi, Katy! This is Geri! Your Trainer! I'm looking forward to meeting you this coming Monday! Be sure to log your meals this week! Come in early to be weighed and measured if possible! See you soon!"

I'm sure my newly tanned face paled back to it's original Irish hue. Journal about my meals? Does Geri know where I am? Has she met the man who prepares my meal every day? Would she know that any vegetables listed in my journal would have been boiled in fat, butter, and a little water, or should I include that as a sidebar? This was going to be a damning list.

Food Journal Beginning Thursday (the day I got the message) June 18th, 2009

Breakfast: a cup of grits, 2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices of buttered toast, orange juice, and two cups of black coffee.

Lunch: Pimento Cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato, sweet tea, and one salmon croquette with ketchup.

Snack: Chocolate pound cake and sweet tea

Dinner: Oyster Stew (cup) and a house salad with honey mustard dressing on the side from Sara J's restaurant and sweet tea.

Dessert: 1 scoop of The Yum Yum Shop's Homemade Pistachio and Almond Ice Cream

Exercise: Jumping waves while holding my 22 pound daughter, swimming in the pool, and walking 1 mile around the beach and Garden City Pier.

Most of my entries look like this from Thursday to Saturday. Even Sunday was a bust, due to the fact that it was "my last day of freedom." But, I'm proud to say that this morning, without much complaining, I woke up at 5:15 am and went to the YMCA to workout. My starting weight before I jumped in the pool this morning: 273 pounds. My goal weight is 150 pounds by Christmas, and my goal activity is to run the Broad Street Run next summer with my friend Jamie.

So it begins. Game on.