The Elliptical

Eleven o'clock rolls around and I'm still in my bathrobe scrolling through status updates on facebook. I jump in the shower, throw on my workout clothes, pack two lunches, three water bottles, and a canister protein powder, wake Libby from her nap, change her diaper, swing a coat on her, and we're on our way by 11:45.

Today was a big presentation day for my work-from-home husband, and I agreed to pick up Harrison from school and keep the kids out of the house for a few hours. The YMCA gym with their on-site childcare seemed like the best option.

After dropping the kids off to eat lunch and play with their friends, I ventured toward the wellness center. Weights then cardio? Or, cardio before weights? I couldn't remember what my trainer told me and the weight machines were mostly vacant, so I decided it was Upper Body Day. I was going to kick butt on these machines, after all, I'm constantly lifting children, so how difficult could it be? This is when I started to really feel the result of my three month stint away from exercising. After inhaling and exhaling my way through the routine I learned in August, I headed for the elliptical. I rule at the elliptical.

Ruled. I ruled at the elliptical. After fifteen minutes, my personal best of seven miles in an hour on my favorite cardio machine was not going to happen. I was only 1.3 miles in, drenched in sweat, and completely red faced. Staying away from the gym for 3 months was my worst idea ever. The experiment was to see how long it would take me to reset my physical capability back to zero. How long would I have to take a break in order for all my progress to be erased? Three months. That's my answer. Probably less, but three months. Go ahead. Call me an idiot. I already have it printed on a name tag and stuck to my forehead.

I made an effort to keep going strong for half an hour. In thirty minutes, I only went 2.3 miles and burned 304 calories. Okay, enough of the shame-fest. I made it back in there. I did accomplish that much. And now I know. Don't be an idiot. After my workout, I watched the glutton's fantasy: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs with my children, and conquered cutting a massive spaghetti squash in preparation for dinner. I feel good. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, elliptical. Until tomorrow you fiendish friend.