Happy New Year!

The first of January usually sees me in a hopeful fury, scribbling down the answers to all my problems, visions, dreams, goals and deadlines. This year seems to be different. As I was explaining to my friend Jamie last night as we brought in the New Year, when I try to control everything (i.e. my life, my aspirations, and all those things I wish I could change from my past to make for a brighter present and future) I just end up downtrodden and upset with one hand in the cookie jar and the other in my mouth. However, when I let go, take things slowly, and take on flexibility I feel more in control of my emotional outcome; therefore, my physical wellness follows suit.

Not to say that the past laissez faire zeigeist is the way to be "flexible." What I do mean by being flexible, however, is the over-all message of the serenity prayer and Proverbs 3:5-6: I firmly believe in changing what I can and accepting that which I don't have the power to control. I just need the courage and understanding to figure out exactly how to do that. I spend much too much time wondering about past regrets, why certain friendships are the way they turned out to be, and what I could do to remedy previous transgressions against myself and others.

So, my New Year's resolution is this: Learn how to discern between my healthy and unhealthy motivators in life and to start gaining wisdom towards/letting go of the need to control things that send me into a downward spiral every time I fail to change them.

Much love and peace to you all and happy resolution planning!

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr